4.04.2009

Brent Spiner's Twitter "Rehab Series"

Just because it amused me more than it should have... here are the adventures of Brent Spiner Twittering from inside the fictional walls of the Betty White Center, not because of any addiction but because his agent thought it would be a "good way to jumpstart an acting career." Soon, like a bad Holodeck trip, he realizes it's not what it seems and he must escape before actually going insane becoming sane or waking up on Dallas, or entering Dancing With the Stars with James Woods.
These tweets are hilariously inspired and just another way that Twitter is pretty awesome. (Important note: To read in order, scroll down, start at the last tweet and scroll up.)
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Hey, today is Sunday! Why didn't anyone tell me??? I'll look for an agent tomorrow. I'll start with the ones who are in walking distance.

Well, as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day". And what better day than Tuesday to go looking for a new agent!

Obviously meant hotel. Not a bad place. At least I have company. A charming spider who hovers just above my pillow.

They say the room next door was where Joplin OD'd. Sorry to drop the name, @Greggreenburg, whoever the hell you are.

Called my friend Dave. He lent me enough for a month's rent at a transient hotil in Hollywood. Same place I stayed when I first came here.

Don't worry folks. I'm not down. If there's one thing I learned in rehab...well, I didn't learn anything there. But I'm an eternal optimist.

The bad news: The market crashed, Bernie's in jail, and I'm broke. The good news: My agent has dropped me. Breakdowns aren't marketable.

No pay phones? Had to use a neighbor's. Chad from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Long distance. Had to give him action figure. Running out.

Foreclosure sign on my house? Thought I was well invested. Calling my financial investor, Bernie. If I can borrow a quarter.

Almost home. A beautiful day! Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Ahhhh. Today is the first Monday of the rest of my life!

Feeling a little sad. Lonely for the Betty White. Miss some of my friends. Toothless Ted, Cowgirl Clara, Brittany, well, everyone but Woods.

Hitchhiked to a gas station in Flagstaff. Enjoying a Dr. Pepper and a Slim Jim. Best meal in seven years. Hollywood, here I come.

  • Dissolved my pill stash in the guard's late night Bosco. Switched clothes with him. Literally strolled out of the joint. Free at last...9 minutes ago from web

  • No more tweets till I'm free. I'm breaking out of this joint. I'll update you from the other side. Hopefully on Entertainment Tonight.8:09 PM Apr 2nd from web

  • Great. The chef is on twitter. He's a company man. He's onto me. No pudding tonight. I hope the key's not in the mashed potatoes.8:01 PM Apr 2nd from web

  • For those who keep asking, here's how it works. Click on my picture and read a few back posts. Geez, don't I have enough to deal with?6:50 PM Apr 2nd from web

  • Never looked forward to dinner as much as I am right now. For one thing, I'm soon going to be outta here. For anthoer, I'm oddly hungry.6:42 PM Apr 2nd from web

  • I keep few Galoobs handy for emergencies. This may require one with a spotted face. Guard says there will be a key in my pudding tonight.2:27 PM Apr 2nd from web

  • Doc now says next week. No way. Bribing a guard to get me out. He's a ST fan. Autographed photo and original Galoob action figure should do.1:22 PM Apr 2nd from web

  • Woods now making everyone watch, "Once Upon a Time in America". The long version. Everyone asleep but me. Hid my pills under my tongue.12:52 AM Apr 2nd from web

  • Unless it was an April Fool's joke, the doc says I get out tomorrow. I'm watching TNG with my friends here. "Schizoid Man". Apropos.12:35 AM Apr 2nd from web

  • While I was catatonic, Patrick, bless him, came to visit. He read a selection of sonnets for the inmates. When he left, they were catatonic7:44 PM Apr 1st from web

  • Doc says I may get out in the next day or so. Suggest another shock treatment. Kind of enjoyed the last one. If I remember correctly.11:51 AM Apr 1st from web

  • Spent the morning in Crafts. Made something out of paper mache. It's either a pig or a fish. Hey maybe I could do this when I get out.10:42 AM Apr 1st from web

  • Movie night here. "Girl Interrupted". Woods says he used to be married to Angelina. I don't believe him.11:26 PM Mar 31st from web

  • Woods asked if I wanted to play. I was going to, then he said he didn't like "Nemesis". Not speaking to him. Or anyone else for that matter.8:09 PM Mar 31st from web

  • It's clear to me now. Nothing here is as I thought it was. Well, James Woods is still here playing ping-pong.7:04 PM Mar 31st from web

  • Thanks for all your good wishes. Apparently, my entire life since "Nemesis" has been a dream. Family, friends, everything. Got to get out.6:56 PM Mar 31st from web

  • Not in rehab. Must've been dreaming. Told I've had a breakdown. In institution. Okay, should be good enough to get me on Oprah or The View.12:30 PM Mar 31st from web

  • Woke up in a fog and realized...Hey, they don't give pills in rehab! And they don't put you in straight jackets! Where am I? Helllllppppp!!!12:04 PM Mar 31st from web

  • Refused to take my pills. They put me in a straight jacket. Am typing this with my nose. Feel so goooooooood.12:09 AM Mar 31st from web

  • More group sessions. Beginning to take responsibility for my actions. Wait a minute...I didn't do anything. Gee, this place is confusing!12:01 AM Mar 31st from web

  • Thankfully, that session ended before the "lightening round". I'm going to take a nap now.3:24 PM Mar 30th from web

  • Had my first solo therapy session in the Allen Ludden, "Password" room. Cute therapist. Couldn't decide whether to give or receive.1:45 PM Mar 30th from web

  • Looks like I'm not the only one here with this idea. I saw James Woods playing ping-pong last night.12:18 PM Mar 30th from web

  • Watched "Family Guy" in the rec room with the other prisoners...er, patients. They seem to think I'd get more work if I was a cartoon.12:15 AM Mar 30th from web

  • I'm now writing from the Betty White Clinic. Group session. We have to say what we think is wrong with us. I'm saying, "bad agent".2:34 PM Mar 29th from web

  • I'm thinking of going into rehab. I'm not addicted to anything, but I think it's good way to jumpstart an acting career.8:40 PM Mar 28th from web

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    Listening to: Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
    via FoxyTunes
  • 11 comments:

    1. I followed Spiner's funny tweets ever since he joined us finally on Twitter. And yeah, that 'rehab' series take is a brilliantly entertaining idea - some might even believe it!

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    2. The best thing ever happened in Twitter!

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    3. Awww - now I'll have to follow Mr Spiner, and I was resisting. Resistance is futile - have I learned nothing?

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    4. I linked this blog to Spiner on Twitter in fact - It's just too brilliant an idea to pick up on his 'rehab series' tweets that way! The drama continues... the plot thickens. Let's see how long he'll be keeping it up. Long live Spiner! Sorry, fan here...

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    5. Absolutely hysterical! He was always my favorite on TNG.

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    6. crap... I fell for it... I thoguht he was in rehab... saw it on my twitter but nope i was played...damn you Brent!

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    7. I think he is still doing it. I also think he is going to continue to do it until the end of time. Robots live forever you know.

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    8. I am addicted to the story he created! I think I might need rehab for it...

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    9. if i saw him on the street I'd totally run up to him and say "OMG I LUV your tweets!" I do love them. Very good that I'm highly unlikely to ever see him on some street.

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    10. I am totally addicted to the tweets of BrentSpiner... It's great!

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