Brent Spiner's Twitter "Rehab Series"

Just because it amused me more than it should have... here are the adventures of Brent Spiner Twittering from inside the fictional walls of the Betty White Center, not because of any addiction but because his agent thought it would be a "good way to jumpstart an acting career." Soon, like a bad Holodeck trip, he realizes it's not what it seems and he must escape before actually going insane becoming sane or waking up on Dallas, or entering Dancing With the Stars with James Woods.
These tweets are hilariously inspired and just another way that Twitter is pretty awesome. (Important note: To read in order, scroll down, start at the last tweet and scroll up.)
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Hey, today is Sunday! Why didn't anyone tell me??? I'll look for an agent tomorrow. I'll start with the ones who are in walking distance.about 3 hours ago from web

Well, as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day". And what better day than Tuesday to go looking for a new agent!about 15 hours ago from web

Obviously meant hotel. Not a bad place. At least I have company. A charming spider who hovers just above my pillow.about 16 hours ago from web

They say the room next door was where Joplin OD'd. Sorry to drop the name, @Greggreenburg, whoever the hell you are.about 16 hours ago from web

Called my friend Dave. He lent me enough for a month's rent at a transient hotil in Hollywood. Same place I stayed when I first came here.about 16 hours ago from web

Don't worry folks. I'm not down. If there's one thing I learned in rehab...well, I didn't learn anything there. But I'm an eternal optimist.about 21 hours ago from web

The bad news: The market crashed, Bernie's in jail, and I'm broke. The good news: My agent has dropped me. Breakdowns aren't marketable.about 21 hours ago from web

No pay phones? Had to use a neighbor's. Chad from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Long distance. Had to give him action figure. Running out.about 22 hours ago from web

Foreclosure sign on my house? Thought I was well invested. Calling my financial investor, Bernie. If I can borrow a quarter.2:52 PM Apr 4th from web

Almost home. A beautiful day! Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Ahhhh. Today is the first Monday of the rest of my life!2:20 PM Apr 4th from web

Feeling a little sad. Lonely for the Betty White. Miss some of my friends. Toothless Ted, Cowgirl Clara, Brittany, well, everyone but Woods.1:00 PM Apr 4th from web

Hitchhiked to a gas station in Flagstaff. Enjoying a Dr. Pepper and a Slim Jim. Best meal in seven years. Hollywood, here I come.12:35 AM Apr 4th from web

Dissolved my pill stash in the guard's late night Bosco. Switched clothes with him. Literally strolled out of the joint. Free at last...9 minutes ago from web

No more tweets till I'm free. I'm breaking out of this joint. I'll update you from the other side. Hopefully on Entertainment Tonight.8:09 PM Apr 2nd from web

Great. The chef is on twitter. He's a company man. He's onto me. No pudding tonight. I hope the key's not in the mashed potatoes.8:01 PM Apr 2nd from web

For those who keep asking, here's how it works. Click on my picture and read a few back posts. Geez, don't I have enough to deal with?6:50 PM Apr 2nd from web

Never looked forward to dinner as much as I am right now. For one thing, I'm soon going to be outta here. For anthoer, I'm oddly hungry.6:42 PM Apr 2nd from web

I keep few Galoobs handy for emergencies. This may require one with a spotted face. Guard says there will be a key in my pudding tonight.2:27 PM Apr 2nd from web

Doc now says next week. No way. Bribing a guard to get me out. He's a ST fan. Autographed photo and original Galoob action figure should do.1:22 PM Apr 2nd from web

Woods now making everyone watch, "Once Upon a Time in America". The long version. Everyone asleep but me. Hid my pills under my tongue.12:52 AM Apr 2nd from web

Unless it was an April Fool's joke, the doc says I get out tomorrow. I'm watching TNG with my friends here. "Schizoid Man". Apropos.12:35 AM Apr 2nd from web

While I was catatonic, Patrick, bless him, came to visit. He read a selection of sonnets for the inmates. When he left, they were catatonic7:44 PM Apr 1st from web

Doc says I may get out in the next day or so. Suggest another shock treatment. Kind of enjoyed the last one. If I remember correctly.11:51 AM Apr 1st from web

Spent the morning in Crafts. Made something out of paper mache. It's either a pig or a fish. Hey maybe I could do this when I get out.10:42 AM Apr 1st from web

Movie night here. "Girl Interrupted". Woods says he used to be married to Angelina. I don't believe him.11:26 PM Mar 31st from web

Woods asked if I wanted to play. I was going to, then he said he didn't like "Nemesis". Not speaking to him. Or anyone else for that matter.8:09 PM Mar 31st from web

It's clear to me now. Nothing here is as I thought it was. Well, James Woods is still here playing ping-pong.7:04 PM Mar 31st from web

Thanks for all your good wishes. Apparently, my entire life since "Nemesis" has been a dream. Family, friends, everything. Got to get out.6:56 PM Mar 31st from web

Not in rehab. Must've been dreaming. Told I've had a breakdown. In institution. Okay, should be good enough to get me on Oprah or The View.12:30 PM Mar 31st from web

Woke up in a fog and realized...Hey, they don't give pills in rehab! And they don't put you in straight jackets! Where am I? Helllllppppp!!!12:04 PM Mar 31st from web

Refused to take my pills. They put me in a straight jacket. Am typing this with my nose. Feel so goooooooood.12:09 AM Mar 31st from web

More group sessions. Beginning to take responsibility for my actions. Wait a minute...I didn't do anything. Gee, this place is confusing!12:01 AM Mar 31st from web

Thankfully, that session ended before the "lightening round". I'm going to take a nap now.3:24 PM Mar 30th from web

Had my first solo therapy session in the Allen Ludden, "Password" room. Cute therapist. Couldn't decide whether to give or receive.1:45 PM Mar 30th from web

Looks like I'm not the only one here with this idea. I saw James Woods playing ping-pong last night.12:18 PM Mar 30th from web

Watched "Family Guy" in the rec room with the other prisoners...er, patients. They seem to think I'd get more work if I was a cartoon.12:15 AM Mar 30th from web

I'm now writing from the Betty White Clinic. Group session. We have to say what we think is wrong with us. I'm saying, "bad agent".2:34 PM Mar 29th from web

I'm thinking of going into rehab. I'm not addicted to anything, but I think it's good way to jumpstart an acting career.8:40 PM Mar 28th from web

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Listening to: Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
via FoxyTunes

Happy Presidents Day

*NSFW* Drunk History V. 4: William Henry Harrison, our ninth president, was sixty eight years old when he was elected. He died thirty days later. PG: Drunken Idiot

This isn't the funniest Drunk History, but I appreciated it. Yeah, it's silly, gross, stupid and fairly irresponsible to purposely get so drunk and talk history on camera, it just sort of reminded me of College ... like ... a lot.

Kittens and David Mashups

Kittens, Inspired by Kittens: Best Internet Video Evar? OK, it’s cute, and funny, and already has inspired a remix. Best Mashup Evar? Probably!

Garfield Minus Garfield

Take Garfield, photoshop out every character but John and the resulting consists of Jon talking to himself (or not talking at all), then any sudden change in behavior appears to be due to Jon thinking or talking to an imaginary person rather than a reaction to someone interacting with him. It's funny, fascinating, sad and inspired all at once. Garfield Minus Garfield

Ballantine Books released a compilation of strips in Oct. 2008. It was dedicated to Garfield creator Jim Davis with a foreword by Dan Walsh.

German Lovers Attempt To Elope To Africa

German Lovers Attempt To Elope To Africa: Mika and fiancee Anna-Bell found on way to airport with swim trunks and a witness for the wedding. Only one small problem...

Little Fat Man Who Sold His Soul

Ricky Gervais inspires David Bowie to write a song about him on the spot.  (TV-14 clip of Extra's)

The Greatest Gift of All, Colbert Christmas Special 2008

Hierarchy of Beards

A subject quite close to my heart or head, whichever. Click to embigen.

Via: Topatoco

Prop 8: The Musical!

Why Palin Failed

Maybe Doonesbury will help jolt some on the right out of their complacency. Or maybe not:

Via: The Daily Dish

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

SARAH PALIN:  Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA:  The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN:  My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:  When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH:  We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY:  Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL:  Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:  I did not cross the road with that chicken.  What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:  I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions.  I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON:  Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL:  The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE:  That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:  To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:  No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.  I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.  No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA:  In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:  Isn’t that interesting?  In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:  Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:  I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.  Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:  Did I miss one?

Via: e-mail from a friend. Photo: Fafou - Flickr

Skits I'd Like to See on SNL, But Probably Won't

I wanna see a skit where Tina/Palin is prepping Granny the racist and Joe the plumber for their on air debuts just like she was prepared...

I wanna see a skit where Tina/Palin is giving paid tours of Russia from her back yard…

I wanna see a skit where Tina/Palin is trying to show McCain how to sell stuff on Ebay… except he can’t because he can’t use a computer… Maybe he accidentally sells the Bus?

I wanna see a skit where McCain parachutes into Washington to save Wall St… except he gets his chute all tangled up in the bureaucracy…

I wanna see a skit showing McCain’s real reaction to his camp picking Palin as his VP with out vetting her…

I wanna see a skit where Obama gets secret intel that McCain is planting Joe’s in his audiences… Obama practicing "keeping cool" faces in front of a mirror...

How about a skit where Palin’s Yahoo account gets broken into and and… and… Oh! that already happened… My Bad… NEXT!!!

How about a skit where Palin is interviewing for the next Joe… Joe Average shows up along with, Joe blow, Momma, Joe Daddy, Camel, and...

How about a skit where a bunch of recording artists show up to McPalin rallies and sues them for using their music… Well, yeah, that's sorta happened too...

How about a skit where Palin gets Georgia (as in the US’s State of) confused with Georgia as in former territory of Russia…

Politics Defined

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Sarah Vowell On Jon Stewart: Does it Get Any Better?

Those who read this blog may remember that a month ago I received an advance copy of her new book The Wordy Shipmates to review and I'm sad to say, I haven't finished it yet so have yet to review it. Life sorta got in the way and I just wasn't feeling the Puritans, even via the extraordinary Ms. Vowell. I WILL read it and review it soon, promise.

Tina Fey Is Amazing As Palin On SNL Season Opener

So, OK, Tina Fey is amazing, smart, sexy and probably the funniest woman on the planet who just happens to be a Doppelganger for the most fascinating, polarizing (and scary) personality of this Election. I hoped Fey would show up on Saturday Night Live, but I didn't think it would be this great. Enjoy:

Some Fun Things Found On a Week Ends Journey in The Zeitgeist

OK, I found this yesterday and I'm still laughing. What would happen if Star Wars characters show up in other films? Take a look at this LiveJournal rundown of the films they were in, somewhere, at sometime. Go check it out!

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Ever wonder why you've never seen Kermit the Frog and Christian Bale together? I know, me too!! Here's proof that they're actually the same person.
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I'm in on the ground floor of an important political grass-roots movement that's sweeping politics. Yes that's right. I'm one of those promoting Palin for President! Michael Palin, that is.

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If your a Geek Dad like me, then you like to get advice from other Geek Dad's, especially about what geeky movies to raise your kids with.

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Boy, those wacky Obama supporters sure do love their buttons!  Check 'em out.

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Finally, it was Forty-Two years ago today, Star Trek debuted!! Happy birthday and continue to live long and prosper! Talking Trek, here's the art for the Remastered Season 3 box set. Sweet! Plus - you don't have to wait until next summer to see a modern take on the 23rd Century - Trailers for the German SciFi Channel show are wunderbar.

Niagara Falls, The Susquehanna Hat Company and Loafing

What are you doing today? Me, I'm just Loafing! :-)

Just One More...

3 min. clip of Jon Stewart snarky Goodness

I twittered that I wouldn't talk about politics on here for a while, but can you blame me for sharing?

Unfortunate Headline of the Day

Yikes! Where were the Copywriters?!? LOL

The Denver Post: Not Masters of the Double Entendre

(TOH Evie Stone)

Presidential Or Pompous? Jon Stewart knows